"So you finally walked into my death trap after all, oh Rebel Without A Clue!" Servalan purred and pointed a gun at Avon.
"Au contraire, my Ruler Of The Universe Wannabe!" Avon retorted and pulled out a gun too. "You walked into my trap!"
"If you intend to shoot me, it works better with bullets, as somebody said. Don't remember who. He's probably dead."
"A small correction: This is an energy weapon, you at most removed the battery. Which is moot anyway, as I knew you would switch my weapon."
"My, are we picky today. Of course I knew you knew, and did not switch it."
"But wouldn't it be loaded then after all?"
Somewhere nearby, angelic fingers began to drum impatiently.
"Sigh. Why don't we just shoot each other to find out?"
"Agreed. On three. One, two CLICK!"
"Avon, you really are no gentleman. You would probably shoot your spouse for the fun of it. And now CLICK!"
"We both saw this coming, didn't we? Sticks and stones?"
"Ah, don't be ridiculous, Avon. Even you want my corpse to still look beautiful. Promise to mount me on the bridge of your spaceship with my best robe on...in your dreams! Don't trust me to be prepared for this situation too?"
"I always look forward to mount you, but why are you squinting at your wrist watch, Servalan? Expect the arrival of thirteen chinesemen in a zeppelin, maybe? Let's say they'll have an indefinite delay."
"You have me there, although I obviously replaced the chinesemen with Japanese ninjas...I take it they were eaten by Godzilla?!...never mind, even I'm not infallible. But you are looking at your clock too?"
Avon pulled out a gizmo with a big red button. "Yeah, always interesting to altercate with you but my daily derision of Vila is overdue. Could you please stand still on the spot which I marked with the big X below you?"
"You expect me now to look down and jump forward, right? Come on, that attempt is rather lamish given your abilities."
"Actually, I just expect your death. I think now it is exactly the time to do this."
A Steinway fell on Avon and Servalan each, no idea from where they came, to much surprise of Avon too. Both had remarkable reactions, but still were rather two-dimensional characters afterwards.
A somewhat nonplussed Lucifer entered the cell. "Are you two love doves positive you don't need therapy? The poor Steinways, do you know what they cost? How long do you intend to be stuck in this boring Hell loop?"
"Boring?" Servalan asked with a last gasp while nonchalantly spitting out the D minor key, arching one eyebrow in classic Spock style. Then she died.
"Hell?" Avon gave his best smirk, which arguably beat Lucifer's devil face in scaryness by a lightyear. Then he died too, for about the millionth time.
"Reset, rinse, repeat," Lucifer shrugged and walked out. "Forever is a long long time."
"You surely would not have even tried to shoot Servalan. You would have shown her your little devil. And one hour later, she would have ruled hell!" Chloe mocked.
"I take offense to the middle one. Surely I have the one or other daily orgy, but I only love you! Also, if Avon ever watched Barbarella, he might consider there is also the possibility of killing someone by ultimate pleasure." Lucifer flapped out his wings, grabbed a squealing Chloe, and soared off with her into hell sky. "Wanna find out, Detective?"
Someone in a much higher position heard Chloe's death screams, said "Luuuce..." and put on earmuffs. Which was pretty pointless, being all-knowing and that.
The End