"What are we going to do tomorrow, Brain?"
"The same thing we do every day, Pinky...Try to take over the world!"
Outro theme of 'Pinky&Brain' sets in. The camera freezes on the
ACME lab, you hear Pinky&Brain talk over the music. They act completely
out of character.
"Today just one episode, Pinky?"
"I've taken a day off, Brain. I'm dating with Minerva."
"Doing it like minks, eh?"
Slowly the camera zooms into the lab.
"Hey Brain, your one-liners are even more stupid than what I have to say
in the episodes!" (chuckles, speaks with changed pitch) "Yes Brain,
but will Jane Fonda be able to do aerobic anymore?"
"I liked that one. Such a clever insinuation!"
The camera totals on them. Everything is black&white, evidently because
of budget cuts - who needs color off-set? Pinky looks repeatedly at his watch,
evidently Minerva is late as always.
"Brain! Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"Huh?"
"The Excessive Machine! Didn't you search an energy source for your
Plan H239?"
"H239? Hypnotizing vending machines? Hypnotizing bagels?
Hypnotizing..."
"...teddy bears." (mocking tone) "Where is your computer memory,
Brain?"
"Pah, those writers can't come up with anything creative anymore. Is it any
wonder that I confuse all those silly plans? So I shall power my hypnotizing
teddy bears with...uh-oh, bad idea, Pinky."
"Why? Seen in comparison, it isn't more idiotic than..."
"S-E-X. We won't get away with that in a kids TV channel. Warner will kick
our butts until kingdom come."
(conspirating tone) "And if we simply don't tell them?"
"Oh, Pinky, you are so clever!"
"Since Minerva will probably too late by over an hour, I can as well do a
bit of constructing..."
Excessive Machine music theme sets in. Pinky plunders the requisites
from the lab, and hammers, saws, drills, etc. to the rhythm of the music.
His body goes faster and faster until he undergoes the usual Heisenberg
blur. Music and Pinky stop abruptly.
"And...ready!" (looking on his watch again)
"What takes her so long? One day she makes me explode!"
Through the left door enters Katie Ka-Boom. (She and the view on
the set outside appear in color. This also holds for the upcoming
other disturbances.) She sees the machine, and begins to nag.
"Oh, a new pinball machine! Wanna play!"
On the machine flashes a sign Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!
Brain tries to keep her off.
"Young lady, this is strictly for adults only!"
"Wanna play! Wanna play!"
"Knock it off! Knock it off!"
"Wanna play! Wanna play!"
"Knock it off! Knock it off!"
A blackscreen with the letters E.T.C. appears, followed by the
sound of a nuclear explosion. The blackscreen crumbles and is replaced by
the sight on the equally black-scorched Pinky and Brain.
"I hate all these amateurs running around at Warner! Now that
makes me really angry!"
Pinky assembles the smithereens laying around and begins anew,
like the theme music, at double speed. He wipes the charcoal from his
watch (you see a tiny sign ACME Explosionproof on it) and stares
on the watch again.
"She ditched you, get along with it!"
"Well, maybe her set is taking longer. Help searching?"
Pinky and Brain exit stage right. Mindy and Buttons enter stage left.
"Oh, a see-saw!"
On the Machine a sign Extreme Jailbait!! flashes, together with a
honking alarm sound. Buttons' eyes pop out. With a desperate jump he
enters the machine before Mindy. Mindy's attention span is zero, she already
seen something more interesting outside. "Silly puppy! Buh-bye!"
"Phew!" Buttons wipes his forehead, and tries to leave the machine.
Pinky and Brain, attracted by the ruckus, have returned. "Help me
ou-ou-ohhhh! I'm stuck! My kno-o-o-oooooh!!"
The picture whites out in a splosh effect with white paint running down
the screen. Then you see a mop wiping it clean again, zoom back on Pinky,
Brain and Buttons cleaning the lab together.
"Bleech, what a yucky stuff!"
"BlaBla...polymerizes...blabla...Sperm competition...bla..." "Mindyyyyy!"
Buttons exit left. Pinky keeps his scientific lecture on K9 biology until he
recognizes Brain isn't interested.
"Sorry, honey, I'm late..."
Suddenly, Minerva enters the room.
"Uh, Minerva, by the way, how old are you?"
Minerva throws herself into Pinkys arms, crying pathetically.
"Oh Pinky, can everybody see I'm already 25 years old? Is my beauty
already gone?"
"Brain, you unsensible bloke! He has nothing in his head than science!"
(winks at Brain) "But his genius..." (winks more, Minerva
with her head over Pinkys shoulder can't see it) "...just invented
the ultimate beauty gadget. See, this combined nail-clipper, tan line
remover, integrated fur brusher..." (grimaces at Brain and nearly
burst out into laughter)
"Oh, may I try it?"
Minerva climbs into the machine, Pinky sets it off. Music theme.
"(squeal) Oh! What is this thing? (mmmh)"
"Sonata for two mice and various sexy minks."
"Hmm. Oh! Ahh. It's . . . sort of nice, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is nice. In the beginning . . . but wait until the tune changes.
You may change your tune as well."
Of course this is an 1:1 parody of the famous scene, so you 'see' her
getting undressed by the machine etc.
"Oh goodness! . . . What do you mean?"
"When we reach the crescendo, you will die . . . of pleasure.
Your end will be swift, but sweet . . . very sweet."
"You mean it can also...oh...be used as a vibrator?....aaaaaaaah!"
Minerva writhes even more than Jane Fonda until she sinks back
unconciously after a final multiple orgasm.
"Isn't the machine supposed to go up in flames, Pinky?"
Suddenly, the pigs storm the room. (The Pigs, really - Porky
and the Little Three pigs, dressed in a 'Warner Police' uniform)
"H-H-Hands up, you are u-u-under arrest!"
A jalousie drops before the screen, with Some gratitious police
brutality later... written on it, accompanied by some Ouch and
Uff! and clicking of handcuffs sound. Jalousie flaps up, next
scene.
"You have been found guilty of bestiality. I hereby sentence you
to ten years prison!" Bang, goes the hammer of the judge.
"Bestiality?? What the...This is a kangaroo court!"
Pinky has jumped on the desk. Zoom on the judge who is indeed a
kangaroo."And 8 days for racist talk!" Bang!
Iron bars slam behind Pinky and Brain. Two studs (horses - what
else) drawn as the usual gay stereotypes look at them and lick their lips.
"New here, mates?" "Cover your ass, Brain, and run!"
Abrupt cut. It's pitch-dark. Brain jumps out his bed crying - you see
not much more than his widened eyes. Thanks Goodness, it just
was a nightmare. Pinky comes to his aid, searching for the light switch.
"Note to self - never watch Eerie, Indiana before going to bed."
"Brain, are you OK, Brain?"
"Oh, nothing. Let us go to bed again and wait for a better tomorrow."
"What are we going to do tomorrow, Brain?"
"The same thing as every day, Pinky...Try to take over the world!"
Pinky falls over the cable of the nightlamp. It flashes on. Everything is
still in black and white. Outro of 'Pinky&Brain' to the tune of the
'Twilight Zone'.
THE END