"Hey Vamps! A job for us!"
Pantha waved around with the TRUSTABLE TATTLER.
"Here it says: 'A fake geisha is reported missing by Fake Edo,
the new theme park in Downtown. Police baffled.'" "So what? Probably she
faked her vanishing? Why should it be supernatural?"
"Haven't you looked on the calendar? It's Halloween!"
Vampirella sighed. "This *of course* changes everything.
OK, up for another wild goose chase. Even if it's not my cup of ramen."
Vampirella and Pantha were standing in front of a fake Japanese store.
"I told you, Panth. Not a single monster in sight."
Pantha griped. "I'm booooored! Let's tell Halloween stories!"
"Ah yeah? And who shall get scared? Fake Japanese eavesdroppers?"
"Vamps, I will tell you a story that makes your blood substitute
serum freeze-dry!" "You and what army?"
Pantha was already at the third horror-cliche urban legend. Vampirella not even moved a brow. When you have been retconned to hell and back and risen from the dead a few times, nothing tends to impress you. Pantha just came to the great conclusion. "And then the crocodile jumped out of the sewer and ate her with one bite!" "Crocodile. In the sewer. You are pulling my leg, eh?"
"Eek! Someone IS pulling my leg? Pantha, if this is one of your usual
shenanigans..." Then a big tentacled monster came crawling out of a gully,
murmuring "Watashi wa baka desu", which probably meant something like
"I knew I should have made that left turn at Shinjuku!"
(Hey, I don't speak a word Japanese - The author)
Pantha squealed. "Oh my God! It's one of those legendary Injus! They are
reknowned for tentacle-raping hapless women until they die from multiple orgasm!
Leave Vampi alone and take me instead, you vile monster!" "Panth, I know your
moral standards are doubtful, but this time you reached a new low. Not even
mentioning that this oversized octopus is probably only a fake inju."
"Dear Sir," Vampirella spoke out with grave sarcasm in her voice,
"would you please let go my boot? Or else I am forced to maim you and sell
you as fake tako rolls?"
"Ladies," the octopus began to speak. "This is highly unbeseeming talking.
To insinuate I am here for raping a member of a different species, amounting to besti..."
"Hey, can it! I'm only half feline!" Pantha interjected.
"Please excuse my side-kick," Vampirella chirped. "Since she has got Internet,
she is only DLing porn since, which messed up her notions. You better don't ask what
she lately did with 30 chinamen and a zeppelin...uh, by the way, have you seen a
vanished geisha?"
"Oh, her. I ate her for breakfast and am hungry again!"
Another tentacle lashed out and curled around Vampirella. Then she was pulled into
the maw of the creature. Even her superhuman strength wasn't enough against that
creature. Her last words were: "A fine mess you brought me in agaiiiii..."
"STOP IT!"
"Huh?"
Chaos pouted. "Nyx, your Halloween story was OK until it went voreville."
"You even didn't let me eat that whore Pantha! Oh yes, and I like to see that bitch
Vampirella shishkebabed and roasted over a small flame and ground to finest
pieces and..."
"Shut up! Nothing against a bit of vore, with some necrophila and sadism peppered
with a touch of evil. But I'm firstly into tentacle hentai! And it completely
lacked the maieusophilia aspect!"
"Maieuwhateva yourself! I'm not the tentacle bitch for the whims of a mad god!
I'm off for a bit of world domination, don't call me back! Men!"
Nyx stepped out and slammed the door, inasmuch doors on the astral plane could
be slammed.
"PMS, clearly." growled Chaos. Then he reached out to the remote with one tentacle
and to a 'Urotsukidoji Perfect Collection' set with another.